Parent Report Card
Use questions like the ones below to get feedback from your tween on how you are doing as a parent. Your tween’s answers can give you a glimpse of how she or he experiences you and perceives your relationship.
WARNING: Do NOT get overly serious about this! Let it be a light-hearted way to promote reflection, connection and fun.
Instructions to tween: Answer the following questions as honestly as you can. You will not be nagged or punished for your answers. The more honest you are, the better parent I can be.
1. What are some things you would like more of in your life?
2. What are some things you would like less of in your life?
3. What are some things you wish I would do differently?
4. What are some things you believe I do well?
5. If you are upset about something, how easy is it to let me know?
VERY HARD: I would rather pluck out all my eyelashes one by one than tell you I’m upset.
HARD: It’s like puking. I hate it but I feel better after it’s over.
SOMETIMES HARD, SOMETIMES EASY: It depends on what mood you’re in and if you’ve had your coffee or not.
EASY: Sure, I can tell you I’m upset – but only if you ask.
VERY EASY: You are the first person I want to tell that I am upset.
6. What could I do to make it easier for you?
7. If you had done something that you knew was wrong, how easy would it be to tell me about it?
VERY HARD: Me, do something wrong? Doesn’t happen. Never will. Go away.
HARD: I’m a locked safe and someone lost the key.
SORT OF EASY and SORT OF HARD: I want to get it over with but I cringe a little thinking about your reaction.
EASY: It’s not the most fun thing to do, but I can tell you.
VERY EASY: I can’t wait to tell you and get it off my chest.
8. What could I do to make it easier for you?
9. When you talk to me, how good of a listener am I?
VERY BAD: You have ears? I hadn’t noticed.
BAD: You would totally flunk out of Listening 101.
SOMETIMES GOOD and SOMETIMES BAD: You are really good at acting like you are listening but sometimes I’m not sure that you really get it.
GOOD: When you listen, I know that you care about what I’m saying.
VERY GOOD: You pay attention and I feel completely understood when you listen to me.
10. What could I do to improve?
11. How comfortable are you in being honest with these questions?
VERY UNCOMFORTABLE: Can we be done with this already? I need to organize my sock drawer.
UNCOMFORTABLE: Don’t I have a dentist appointment to get to? like, NOW?
SORT OF COMFORTABLE and SORT OF UNCOMFORTABLE: It’s nice that you are asking. What’s the catch?
COMFORTABLE: It’s cool. A little weird, but mostly cool.
VERY COMFORTABLE: It’s about time you asked! Let me tell you more…
THANK YOU FOR TELLING ME WHAT YOU THINK!!!