Welcome to Blink of Your Eye!

Parenting a tween and anticipating adolescence is like waiting in line to board a turbulent roller coaster ride. While appearing cool and confident, you are secretly calculating the potential of slipping out from under the safety bar should the car fly off the track. The ride is over in the blink of your eye and you marvel at how you felt like throwing up and laughing all at the same time.

Parenting tweens and teens is no less thrilling or tumultuous. We know. We’ve seen it as professionals (with over 35 years of combined experience) and lived it as parents ourselves. Hop on the ride with us and let us help you safely and sanely parent through the pre-teen years and gear up for your child’s adolescence.

Blink of Your Eye aims to help parents establish a realistic and manageable balance as they raise pre-adolescent children by providing useful information and celebrating the humor of this wonderfully tumultuous stage. By reading and participating in the blog we hope parents will feel supported and inspired to confront the changes that come with watching tweens move toward adolescence.

We recognize and appreciate the diversity of values, cultures, family structures, and personality quirks that comprise modern families and while we don’t pretend to know what is best for all, we strive to provide guidance that can give parents a solid starting place for finding the right solutions for their family.

Our philosophy of Thoughtful effort, Loving firmness and Compassionate patience (TLC) is based in an understanding of the psychosocial development of tweens and teens. The TLC framework empowers parents to raise their children in a way that celebrates tweens’ strengths and gives direction for bolstering them in those areas where they still need to grow.

Parents, be sure to check out the Car Thought that we include with each post. This is a question or idea that you can reflect on as you shuttle your kids about or in any spare moment that becomes available. Any pondering you do on the Car Thought will help make the information in the post more relevant to life with your tween.

Please note, that though we are professional counselors with years of experience, Blink of Your Eye is not intended as a substitute for therapy for you as a parent or for your tween.

Kids grow up in the blink of your eye and the ages of 9-13 are a pivotal time for parental influence. It is an honor to have a supporting role in your tween’s adventure with this thing we call “growing up.” Take advantage of this important phase of your child’s life and journey with us through the spills and thrills tweendom!

The Rhyme and Reason of Learning
It is very common for  tweens to question the importance of education. As their analytical brains ponder more complex issues, they call all things into question.  I came across this quote from, The Phantom Tollbooth,  one of my children's favorite books (I read this 3 times to my 3 children a... Read more
Tween Attitude
Dealing with tweens and their attitude can be like living with a moody and temperamental grizzly bear. For tips on understanding and dealing with tween attitude check out the article we wrote for the Center for Parenting Education. We discuss the causes of tween attitude, what behavior is realistic... Read more
Future Tripping & Freaking Out: Tween Fears of Middle School
In our last post, we talked about the worries that keep parents up at night as they send their tween to middle school. Like parents, tweens may also be tossing and turning, though the dialogue in their heads often sounds a little different: Will I be able to get my locker open? Will... Read more
Flashbacks and Fears: The Transition to Middle School
We posted this a while back and thought it would be helpful as we start the school year: Do you remember how you felt when your child started kindergarten? Were you the parent who tried to put on a brave face as you left the classroom and fought back tears? Or were you the parent who joyously ski... Read more
The Importance of Celebration
This time of year brings a varied response from parents and children.  Some are excited about the start of school.  For parents, they may celebrate a return to routine or the excitement of their child taking the next steps toward adulthood.  Kids may be looking forward to reconnecting with fri... Read more
Transition from Summer: Preparing for School
Here is a post from our archives that we thought would be helpful as we all get ready for the school year: August is still summer, right? Yet since the beginning of July, back to school ads have been bombarding us, thwarting any attempts to deny that summer will eventually end. I suppose it... Read more
Train Your Brain: Being Positive with Your Child
How many of you are now counting the days until school starts again? At this point in the summer, many parents and tweens are ready for a little more space between each other and both sides can get caught  a negative spiral that seems hard change.  It can seem like it would take some type of sup... Read more
Parent Child Conflict: Getting Kids to Listen
As you are probably all too aware, disagreements between tweens and parents are par for the course. (In fact, having no conflict in a family can sometimes be symptomatic of a problem.) Though it may be normal, being at loggerheads with your tween is maddening, anxiety provoking and a big drain on yo... Read more
The Science of Teen Speak
Have you every wondered if there was a rhyme or reason to those annoying sounds that can come out of our your tween?   Listen to James Harbeck.  He is a linguist and he has analyzed typical  teen and tween vocalizations.  You know the ones, the huge sigh or the big click of their tongue.  H... Read more
Dating Technology
"Instead of taking the time to come to the door and meet us, they are just off in their own little world.  Off they go.  We don't know what they say or do.  It wasn't like this when we were growing up." When you read the above statement, what comes to mind?  Cell phones, right?  Cell ph... Read more

  • Heather B.

    As we approach the middle school/tween/preteen years, we are spending some time trying to equip ourselves for our sake and our son’s for this transition. We’ve been reading a great new book that we are really excited about, so I just have to share. It’s
    called “MiddleSchool: The Inside Story- What Kids Tell Us, But Don’t Tell You,” by Cynthia Tobias and Sue Acuna. It has interviews and feedback from middle schoolers, parents and teachers (and a little humor) to help us deal with tackling social media, technology, Internet, gaming, faith, purity, puberty, communication, independence, discipline and accountability, and deepening and strengthening positive, loving relationship. It’s so rich in valuable help as we face these transitional years with our kids. I think everyone with a middle schooler or who will
    have a middle schooler will benefit from it. I highly recommend it!