Welcome to Blink of Your Eye!

Parenting a tween and anticipating adolescence is like waiting in line to board a turbulent roller coaster ride. While appearing cool and confident, you are secretly calculating the potential of slipping out from under the safety bar should the car fly off the track. The ride is over in the blink of your eye and you marvel at how you felt like throwing up and laughing all at the same time.

Parenting tweens and teens is no less thrilling or tumultuous. We know. We’ve seen it as professionals (with over 35 years of combined experience) and lived it as parents ourselves. Hop on the ride with us and let us help you safely and sanely parent through the pre-teen years and gear up for your child’s adolescence.

Blink of Your Eye aims to help parents establish a realistic and manageable balance as they raise pre-adolescent children by providing useful information and celebrating the humor of this wonderfully tumultuous stage. By reading and participating in the blog we hope parents will feel supported and inspired to confront the changes that come with watching tweens move toward adolescence.

We recognize and appreciate the diversity of values, cultures, family structures, and personality quirks that comprise modern families and while we don’t pretend to know what is best for all, we strive to provide guidance that can give parents a solid starting place for finding the right solutions for their family.

Our philosophy of Thoughtful effort, Loving firmness and Compassionate patience (TLC) is based in an understanding of the psychosocial development of tweens and teens. The TLC framework empowers parents to raise their children in a way that celebrates tweens’ strengths and gives direction for bolstering them in those areas where they still need to grow.

Parents, be sure to check out the Car Thought that we include with each post. This is a question or idea that you can reflect on as you shuttle your kids about or in any spare moment that becomes available. Any pondering you do on the Car Thought will help make the information in the post more relevant to life with your tween.

Please note, that though we are professional counselors with years of experience, Blink of Your Eye is not intended as a substitute for therapy for you as a parent or for your tween.

Kids grow up in the blink of your eye and the ages of 9-13 are a pivotal time for parental influence. It is an honor to have a supporting role in your tween’s adventure with this thing we call “growing up.” Take advantage of this important phase of your child’s life and journey with us through the spills and thrills tweendom!

Train Your Brain: Being Positive with Your Child
How many of you are now counting the days until school starts again? At this point in the summer, many parents and tweens are ready for a little more space between each other and both sides can get caught  a negative spiral that seems hard change.  It can seem like it would take some type of sup... Read more
Parent Child Conflict: Getting Kids to Listen
As you are probably all too aware, disagreements between tweens and parents are par for the course. (In fact, having no conflict in a family can sometimes be symptomatic of a problem.) Though it may be normal, being at loggerheads with your tween is maddening, anxiety provoking and a big drain on yo... Read more
The Science of Teen Speak
Have you every wondered if there was a rhyme or reason to those annoying sounds that can come out of our your tween?   Listen to James Harbeck.  He is a linguist and he has analyzed typical  teen and tween vocalizations.  You know the ones, the huge sigh or the big click of their tongue.  H... Read more
Dating Technology
"Instead of taking the time to come to the door and meet us, they are just off in their own little world.  Off they go.  We don't know what they say or do.  It wasn't like this when we were growing up." When you read the above statement, what comes to mind?  Cell phones, right?  Cell ph... Read more
The Road to Independence
HAPPY 4th OF JULY!!!!! As our nation celebrated its independence last week, we thought it was a good time to think about tween independence. One of the most important goals of parenting during the tween and teen stage is to help tweens develop the skills they will need to be fully independent ... Read more
When Your Teen Betrays You: How To Rebuild Trust
In our last post, the The Center for Parenting Education gave some great information about the concept of trust and how tweens and teens can be expected to behave in a way that makes us lose trust in them. So expecting it is one thing but responding to it and figuring out how to rebuild trust i... Read more
When Your Teen Breaks Your Trust
Go ahead and expect it. At some point, it will happen that your tween or teen breaks your trust. Not only does this force you to re-evaluate all previously granted privileges your child has earned, but it can also cause heart palpitations and gruesome imaginings about what the future holds. The foll... Read more
Tween Dating: When Mr. Wrong Won't Leave
Remember Francis from our last post? The panicked mother whose daughter is “in LUUUVE” with Mr. Wrong? We’ve already talked about all the growth opportunities (just what you wanted, right?) this scenario provides. In this post we will answer the most important question: “WHAT THE ?#@&%!... Read more
Tween Dating: When Mr. Wrong Comes Knockin’
“My daughter is head over heels with a new boy at school but I just don’t have a good feeling about this kid. I read a text where he mentioned doing drugs. But when I told my daughter that she wasn’t allowed to talk to him, she completely freaked out and screamed and cried for over an hour. It... Read more
Two Guys on Your Head: The Adolescent Brain
  "Two Guys on Your Head" is a short feature produced at our local radio station, that explores topics associated with the brain. University of Texas at Austin,  Professors Dr. Art Markman and Dr. Bob Duke spend a lot of time thinking about why we do what we do and they share their thoug... Read more

 

  • Heather B.

    As we approach the middle school/tween/preteen years, we are spending some time trying to equip ourselves for our sake and our son’s for this transition. We’ve been reading a great new book that we are really excited about, so I just have to share. It’s
    called “MiddleSchool: The Inside Story- What Kids Tell Us, But Don’t Tell You,” by Cynthia Tobias and Sue Acuna. It has interviews and feedback from middle schoolers, parents and teachers (and a little humor) to help us deal with tackling social media, technology, Internet, gaming, faith, purity, puberty, communication, independence, discipline and accountability, and deepening and strengthening positive, loving relationship. It’s so rich in valuable help as we face these transitional years with our kids. I think everyone with a middle schooler or who will
    have a middle schooler will benefit from it. I highly recommend it!

    http://www.tyndale.com/Middle-School-The-Inside-Story/9781589977778#.U8R_Gl4Q7wI